A Lover's Lie

I finished mixing 'A Lover's Lie' last night and posted it on myspace/facebook. I think its sort of a big step for me production-wise; it constantly changes, yet still retains some continuity. When songs turn out like this it makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.

I hope it's received well by my more critical friends, but I'm going to try and remember not to think about the expectations. I want to keep my music pure and innocent. I still can't believe it when people tell me that they still love and listen to 'In Retrospect' (my first ever recording project). It came up the other day with some friends and they explained it really well. They told me that the thing that made the album great was the fact that it was so naive and innocent. It was dark lyrically, but somehow retained this light, youthful feeling that made it very representative of our demographic. Someone mentioned that I need to be careful not to overthink things now that I've been doing this awhile, and they're probably right. If I let my music become too high-strung or mechanical I'll lose what made it good to begin with.

I know I can't write those light and youthful songs anymore, because I don't feel light or youthful. I feel tired and somewhat stricken by the things that I do to myself. I feel like if I left myself alone for too long I would destroy what was left of me - not in a suicidal sense, but like I'm constantly tearing at the fiber that holds me together. I think the only reason I'm not unstable and fraying is because I refuse to believe its so. I'm older than I am but I've yet to do anything. I hope after I get away from the stagnancy of Fredericksburg I might recapture my spirit - I think that's really the only hope I have.

The song is here: